A physical copy can be purchased for the low, low price of Ten American Dollars, plus $2 for shipping within the United States, if I need to ship it to you.
Just contact me if you wish to make such a purchase.
*This album was composed and performed by Preston Gelberwolf. He's very proud of himself.
*It'll be easier to get through if you think of it as three short albums. Or treatises, if you will.
*Music for "Reel" composed by Gelberwolf, Dishonor, Loviatar, and Sunspider (doesn't anyone have a regular name?)
*Dishonor corrected my über-rusty German for "Fenriz..."; Crystal Kiekel also helped.
*Two lines of lyrics for "Reel" were composed by Sunspider (I forgot the rest. When I found them again, I decided to keep my lyrics, to preserve the theme).
*All instruments were acoustic, except for keyboards and drums.
*Instruments played in each song are indicated after the title, by their abbreviation:
Violin/Viola (Vi), Cello (C), Bass viol (Bv), Classical guitar (G), Acoustic bass guitar (Bg), Alto recorder (R), Percuss/drums (D), Keyboards (K), Vocals (Vx), (plus Banjo on "Fenriz Schlaft, Fenriz Erwacht"). Aren't you impressed?
*Cover design and drawings due to Gelberwolf.
(Track number for entire CD in italicized parentheses) (Track number for specific treatise in underlined parens, after song title)
As the flame transforms the wood into ash, as the flame transforms the world into ash, so the flame transforms the Wolf into Man. So this catalyst transforms the Man into Wolf.
And the Cycle of life turns ever onward. One process of change, with components and rhythms. Different actors, but the roles never change, when changes are in a cycle. And the Flame is the change, but the change is a cycle- sometimes.
Now a Man, with social graces-- renounce the Wolf! And now a Wolf, with Will and struggle-- contempt for the Man! We have two Faces, rise and fall, compete for expression. A constant cycle between two poles, in the mind of the viewer.
To know of strength you must know of weakness. To know of ugliness you must know of beauty too. To know vitality of Sex, you must know abstinence of Death. To know that morning has arrived, you must know there was a Night.
And the Cycle of life is how we manage our Faces. The Man is one with the Other, the Wolf is one with his Nature. The Man is one with his Herd mind, the Wolf is one with his Own mind. The Flames rise higher to change them, fluctuate in dichotomy.
The wolf and the flame and the cycle of life.
The Devil has two horns.
Rise and fall, ever on, wax and wane...
(2) Versipellis Dawn (1) 3:17
(Cello, Bass viol, Violin, Drums, Vocals)
Is that the Wolf you fear? Your civilized veneer-- just a Face we wear, to hide what's really there. Vicious savagery, more than true wolves could ever be.
Don the Pelt, doff the Face.
Where shall we draw the line between Man and Wolf?
So when we know our resources: transformative forces, to shape the world to Will with flexibility still. Then we step out of the Herd, deep, hidden primal urge. Shape-shift, don a Pelt of predation.
Transfiguration is Imagination... (3)Wolfsbane (2) 2:04
(Cello, Bass viol, Violin, Drums, Vocals)
Rise up! Rise up! Against Man's bane.
Rise up! Rise up! Against Wolf's bane.
Somewhere, deep inside the Man lies the impulse he would like to hide. To shun the Herd, and join the Pack to hate, to love, to caress, to attack. So removed from the Forest is man that he can no longer understand.
Indiscriminant killing is not of the wolf, but, rather, this destroys Man and Wolf both. As the true wolf thins the sheep herd, so the werewolf thins the human herd. This balance preserves by status-position. The Wolf does not rip out the borne throat of submission.
Fangs and fur, Teeth and Knees.
There is a cure for this human disease! (4)Awakening into the Shadows (3) 1:38
(Cello, Bass viol, Violin, Vocals)
First the sun slipped away, to the unknown. Then the Dark showed the Self, and this light shone.
Looked around, saw the resources, free. Removed the Face that the Herd yearned to see. And yearned instead, earnest simplicity. Thus donned the Pelt,
and Pretended to Be...
Then the world was a tool, to exercise Will. Through the Forest, passion burned, laughed, made the kill. First the sun slipped away, to the unknown. February Forest woke, and this light shone. (5)The Hunt (4) 2:16
(Bass viol, Violin, Vocals)
The Pack is not the Herd, but structured on Will and strength. 10,000 panicked voices
attempt to merge in the Crowd.
And the Herd is all that they know.
The Hunt swoops down to thin out the Herd.
The most mindless take their place at the rear.
The Hunt draws the line twixt Path and Woods.
It rides through the world to feed its own good.
Predators shall come and go, as they should.
Claws curled under, whenever they can be.
Needed, they strike with bloodlust fury!
The wolf is base and debauched, devoid of puritan bindings, but also empty of mind, without reason or heart. Lycanthrope merges the traits,
not of the Path, nor the Woods.
And the Pack is all that we know.
The Herd swoops down to crush what they fear...
The weak give in, and don the herd's Face.
The Hunt draws the line twixt Wolf and Man.
The ordered harmony protects the whole clan.
Neither, neither alone can fully understand.
Claws curled under whenever they can be.
Needed, they strike with bloodlust fury... (6)Skinwalker (5) 2:15
(Guitar, Cello, Vocals)
He does not live in one Skin. He does not live in one Face. He takes the gifts of other Beasts. He keeps the gifts of the Man. He works his will in these shapes, and binds his Will to be done... He means to crumble his foes,
And binds his Will to be done! (7)Fenriz Schlaft, Fenriz Erwacht (6) 2:15
(Cello, Bass viol, Recorder, Drums, Vocals)
Fenriz schlaft wieder ein. Fenriz erwacht wieder mal.
Wotan gab uns das Geschenk vom Berserkr, die Peltze vom Wolf und von das Bär. Aber doch, auch wird er bei dem Hunger und der Kiefern des Wolfes umfallen. Niemand schließt den Vater des Furchtes ein! Fenriz zerstört, und macht das Welt neu ein. ___Fenriz schlaft wieder ein. Fenriz erwacht wieder mal.________ Fenriz Sleeps, Fenriz Awakens. Fenriz falls back asleep.
Fenriz awakens again...
Wotan gave us the gift of the Berserkr, the skin of the wolf and of the bear. Yet, by the hunger and the claws of the Wolf, he too shall fall. No one escapes Father Fear! Fenriz destroys, and creates the world anew.
Fenriz falls back asleep. Fenriz awakens again. (8)Beowulf and Grendel (7) 2:15
(Guitar, Cello, Bass viol, Violin, Recorder, Bass guitar, Drums, Vocals)
There was a Man, a hero ostensibly. He came to slay a Beast. He left the Path, and Way, into the Woods, to save the Herd of Sheep.
He was to save the civil from the wild. We'll call these "Man" and "Wolf." But Beowulf hid a Wolf down, deep inside, for he was neither, in truth.
He needed strength from the dark, inside himself. Donned Pelt of wolf and bear for the bout. He called upon the Grendel from within, to slay the Grendel from without.
Protector of Man, himself no man...
A shepherd, in Lupine garb...
She reaches her hand to awaken him, but now she's thinking better of the gesture. Now she's trying hard to understand.Feverishly trembling- what's become of him?
He's rising above you, my dear... Polymorph Self (8) (9) One Step Closer to Annihilation (8a) 1:37
(Guitar, Bass viol, Recorder, Drums, Vocals)
My son!, my son!, my son!, my son!, what have they done? I swear that you shall be avenged, and so they come! My world a resource for reconstruction, in every thing. Why are they so afraid of a little posturing?
Because... you will Become what you Pretend to Be!
So Pretend to be something you like.
My son!, my son!, I've crashed into the ocean floor, and cracked up my cocoon, upon the jagged rocks. Falling to the bottom, then I must die, or else take on another form, and take to fly... Simplicity is to know the Self at deepest Bone. Down here, we rip off our Face, that we may don a Pelt...
I don a Pelt, designed Identity. I will Become what I Pretend to Be. I will become, here in Lycanthropy. I shall be the Wolf, Predator, NOT the Prey! (10)The First Eve of Transfiguration(8b) 2:28
(Guitar, Bass viol, Recorder, Drums, Vocals)
I have no fear of falling, I am as light as air. Whom shall we kill tonight? Or shall we kill them all? I have no fear of falling, I have no weight at all. Et, cum Lex Talionis, The only Law is fang and claw!
We're not awake yet, but give us some time.
We'll rip out your throat before you know it.
Father Fear...
First eve of transfiguration, Now paws, where once were hands. First comes remorse and terror, but then I slowly come to understand. Not compulsive killing spree, but freedom to kill when need is real. I define clear Principles, and Indulge in what they wish they did not feel. And so I come to feel weight, but still no guilt, nor fear to fall. We stand outside the Herd, and by our Will, we shall guide them all.
We slowly awaken, to ramifications.
The Lycanthrope's actions have hidden re-actions.
Father Fear... (11)Neither Man, Neither Wolf (8c) 1:26
(Guitar, Bass viol, Recorder, Drums, Vocals)
The Eve of transfiguration ends, as dawn awakens...
From the Mistress, to her slave.
From Jekyll, into Hyde.
The cherub and the succubus.
Beowulf into Grendel
In each polarity, the 2 begets 3.
Synthesis, flexibility
At home in a state of flux
The hidden accountability for the were-wolf's actions
At home in a state of
Neither-Neither
Nil. (12)Versipellis Dusk (9) 0:57
(Cello, Bass viol, Violin, Drums, Vocals)
You can Pretend to Be, and by this shall you Be.
There is a price to pay for Lycanthropy.
For now, we doff the Skin, and don the Face again.
For now, return to the Herd, and try to be a Man again...
(14) Flames Make Ash I (flames as destruction/transfiguration) (1) 3:08
(Drums, Keyboards, Vocals)
Flames transform matter to ash. But what form hides in ash? Ten-thousand faceless Faces? The mysteries abound! Becoming by destruction. Ten-thousand faceless Faces forged in the Flame that tempers steel!
We hid on the Path, from the Forest and the Flames
Until we learned:
To destroy is to create! (15) Flames Make Ash II (flames as uncontrollable forces) (2) 2:54
(Cello, Drums, Keyboards, Vocals)
What is, is for now, seems to be encased in Ice. BUT
as surely as the deep frost forms, it melts down, when it meets the flames. Never know where the next Flame catches, or how quickly it spreads. BUT it comes as surely as night from day, and it devours all in the end.
Nothing lasts forever, except the matter from which it's produced. And the next form to be taken up will be simple and reduced. Liquid, air, and ash-- always ash!
Lycanthrope knows the Flame can never quite be controlled, but rather, harnessed for her Ends, she sometimes fits it to her mold. (16) Flames Make Ash III (flames as passion) (3) 2:52
(Drums, Keyboard, Vocals)
Hot, fiery Passion rages, deep in Pleasure, deep in changes. Mortal terror, wild Lust, growth from all that does not kill us. Frozen time from fiery Pleasure, burning of your Heart's endeavor. When you hold Fire, Ice lasts longer; what does not kill us, makes us stronger.
The Passion burns. The Passion destroys.
The Passion creates anew. (17)Neither Kiss, Neither Bite (4) 2:39
(Cello, Drums, Keyboard, Vocals)
When kiss is bite, then tongue is Tooth.
The herd, and its Laws, and certainty, and truth.
Then Kiss is farce, is lie, invert.
When Time changes Faces, when pleasure is hurt.
A Power exchange, predatory game.
Great passion ignites them in herd-feared Flames.
The Face slips away, as they don their Pelts.
It burns them to cinders, to ashes and new forms.
From Hunted, to Hunter, a growing from under.
And the Flame burns the Man to the shape of the Wolf. (18) Meeting Death on the Path (5) 2:30
(Guitar, Cello, Bass viol, Violin, Drums, Vocals)
When the Madness begins, when the Lunacy sets in,
Where will you be then?
And I can see you sleeping, by the side of the Path. Sleeping, the Dreamless sleep,
Dreaming the endless Dream.
I am but a shadow, passing in the night. An effigy beside the Road, I greet you and pass you by. Meeting Death upon the Path need not mean so much. An enigma beside the Road, I greet you and pass you by...
When the Flame comes, it devours all in its Path. Hungry, Lupine jaws; Ashes, where we once stood...
I am but a shadow, passing in the night. A monument beside the Road, I greet you and pass you by. But meeting Death on a smaller scale,
New Forms feed on old.
Monuments are always built
On the ashes of monuments...
When the Madness begins... (19)Bricks Among the Ashes (6) 2:07
(Cello, Bass viol, Violin, Recorder, Drums, Vocals)
The flame is the change, and the blood is the life. It's not real, if you can't feel... and I can't feel you change. Does that mean you don't change? Does some core remain? See charred bones, still intact, though blackened and cracked.
They fear you! They drain your Will: they come in your sleep, and they take their fill. They fear you.
Time is change, and change is Father Fear. Though the desert remains, its seasons change. And every year, presided by Father fear. With his jaws like a Wolf, rapacious in hunger. Face's change came in lines, as the flame took its time. But the Bones changed as Wheels.
It isreal, if you feel...
They fear you! They'd tame your Will. They hide when you're awake, as you make your kill.
They fear you. (20)The Lupine Jaws of Father Fear (7) 2:00
(Guitar, Acoustic bass guitar, Drums, Vocals)
Time and Law are opposing forces; the Flame will always consume the Law. The old god is dead, his Time was come. His flesh has rotted off, and now it's drying in the sun.
Just another phase in the same chunk of matter...
Step back. Get back. Come back to me tomorrow. I will tell you everything is fine. Arise from the ashes of Father Time. The Wolf is whispering in the Man's ear.
"Let me out, ride Father Fear!"
Life is comprised of a series of betrayals, some in Lines, others in Wheels. The Wheel turns back for the Bone, but not the Face.See how the Face grows old with Lines!
For motion is change, and motion is life; chaos is Fire, stagnation is Ice. But the living all die, and Death feeds Life: This is the Wheel, and the Flame, and the Ice!
Life is always full of Death...
Step back. Get back. Come back to me tomorrow. To destroy is to create anew, a turn to the within. The alchemy, the chemistry, the savory taste of Burning sin! (21)A Path in the Forest (8) 1:32
(Guitar, Cello, Acoustic bass guitar, Drums, Vocals)
A wall of Fire separates the Forest from the Path. A fire in the Forest, a fire on the Path-- makes it arduous to pass. And so the two worlds are divided, the Face from the Pelt. Her Transfiguration stymied by the Pain that she felt.
And the pain of Transfiguration lies in its burning.
Rip of your Face, slip on your Pelt,
Satisfy the Yearning.
Nothing can stand in my path
When I stray from the Path.
The Wolf emerges from the Flame,
Dispensing Love and Wrath. (22) Flames Make Ash (reprise) (9) 0:50
(Drums, Keyboard, Vocals)
Passion, Pain-Pleasure, Crisis-Resource, Creation-Destruction, Certainty: This is the Flame!
Transfiguration always takes a little taste of Death...
Face melts first, Bone is slower to burn to ash.
(23) Intermission B: A Man from Arcadia 0:44
(Guitar, Bass viol, Drums, Vocals)
Second was the Fire between them, third was the Cycle that binds them.
Three 3's, these are the 9 years, the pitchfork has 3 prongs.
The wolf and the flame and the cycle of life.
Wax and wane...
The Cycle (being the characteristics and process of transfiguration)
(24) Before the Fall (1) 2:22
(Guitar, Cello, Acoustic bass guitar, Drums, Vocals)
As the Darkness descended for the first time,
I tell you that I love you, but you're never really listening
And the aging Will of a Father
forbids us riding side by side for all eternity.
I assumed that you were with me through the Seasons.
But gradually, I come to see, you are your Father's son.
As the Darkness descended for the next time, you tell me that you love me, but your eyes betray the falsehood.
And I started then to wonder, as the rain fell:
had we shifted shapes, and clung to Love and memory?
The aging Will of a Father
Aging Will
Aging Will
Will I still...?
Will I still...?
Will I still need you, when there's nothing left to talk about at all?
As the Darkness descended for the third time, I slowly come to hate you, and the monster you've turned into. And I wonder, are you in there? Were you ever? You are what you Pretend to Be, or was one Face the truth? We come together, fall apart, ever forward... It is the Way of things, the risk of intimacy ties. Duality in Love and memory turn to Love and War, but now, I hope you break your ankle, slipping to your grave. (25)The Rise and the Fall (2) 2:26
(Cello, Violin, Acoustic bass guitar, Drums, Vocals)
February storms, and a chance encounter. Two Wills meet upon a common ground. Huddle together, allies in a struggle. We came to call on one another often.
The tribulation tears us out from heaven. Will it destroy us, or change us forever? The deluge dries and pours in seasons of weather. The poles of Love and War rotate on this tether.
We rise and fall above the pit together,
Yet I know nothing of your Heart's endeavor
February storms now bring us closer than ever.
Two Wills pool their rich resources.
The struggle has changed us, for stronger and closer.
We endeavor to create a world together.
The tribulation tears us out from heaven. Destroyed the Surface, and changes may be forever. The deluge dries and pours in seasons of weather. War fades down, Love rises up on the tether.
We rise and fall above the pit together,
My Will now tied to your Heart's endeavor
Your Heart's endeavor... Nothing more crucial than the Heart's endeavor. The solitary spark, the Will to shape the landscape. When such Wills join into a common flame, the storm that sets their course together,
A blessing! (26) The Zenith Marks the Decline (3) 2:46
(Cello, Bass viol, Violin, Acoustic bass guitar, Drums, Vocals)
It's not that I see things a little more clearly than you do. And it's not that my view's right, as yours is just as valid as mine. But I don't want to be here, it's not that I don't want to be with you. No, I don't want to be here, I don't want to be here. I don't want to stay up mourning all knights.
Now, now, now, good, good Man, this is not your time. Feel your flesh rising slowly, and know that it means you're about to die...
You hide in the bathroom, staring in the mirror as your Face changes. You are exploring the patterns, your personality becomes the Wolf. You note the Predator's zenith, it marks decline back into the Prey state.
The Full starts the Waning, the New starts the Waxing,
And the Predator becomes the Prey, and Prey becomes the Predator...
Now, now, now, good, good Wolf, this is no longer your time. Feel your Sex rising quite quickly,
and know that it means you're about to die... (27)Should We Fall? (4) 3:42
(Guitar, Cello, Vocals)
In the morning, the dove was borne. She did as doves are wont to do, and Predators used this resource.
And she was the Prey, but she gave.
By mid-afternoon, Predation weighted heavy on her shoulders, and she cried. In the black abyss of night, the Grendel was borne. In the dead of night...
Should she fall from grace?
(I don't know what grace is)
Should she fall from grace?
(the state of One didn't do her so well...)
Grace is the One path, to fit all situations. But any One requires Two, for juxtaposition. And two poles imply a mid, the dyad makes the triad. Yin and yang make up the Tai Ch'i Chuan, the waxing and waning. The Dominant and Submissive imply the Switch. And in the Switch between poles: This is what hides the flame!
The state of flux, the 10,000 things.
Two angles thrust above the Three...
Should we fall from grace?
(the Herd doesn't want to know what grace is)
Should we wear one Face?
(well, I don't know at all what grace is...)
Should we fall from grace?
(who are you to tell me, at all, what grace is?) (28)...And They Fell From Grace (5a) 1:36
(Bass viol, Violin, Drums, Vocals)
In the beginning, there was the One. Then 1 begat 2, and 2 bore 3. Three 3's were 9, which guided the 10,000 things. For the 9 always came back to itself 9. Hence unity, in plurality. And of the 10,000 things,
It comes in 2's and 3's.
2 / faces; 3 / forms;
9 / phases.
Thesis / Being; Antithesis / Dying; Synthesis / Becoming anew.
And they rejected the One, in favor of Nine, embracing the 10,000 things. And so they rise and fall upon history's waves, and so take on 10,000 forms. (29)The Desert in Winter (5b) 2:41
(Guitar, Bass viol, Recorder, Keyboard, Vocals)
Where once the sun beat down on parched and barren land not so long ago... Now a sheet of Ice, thin but bitter cold, stretches out to freeze our sins. This is the Way of Things, the Summer will return again.
But so cold is the desert in winter.
Pass an abandoned home, now as barren and alone, as the landscape in the desert in winter. Nothing colder than the desert in winter...
Faint specters of lives once bright, now shadows in the desert at night. So alone, in the desert, in winter.
When the sun shines through the window again, it will crack the ice, and melt our sins. It's been so for tens of thousands of years: The seasons change, but the desert remains! For the desert is the desert-in-seasons. The desert is the desert-in-winter.
Nothing is more alone, so empty, so cold.
Alone in the desert, in winter.
Alone, in the desert-in-winter... (30)After the Rain (6) 2:39
(Cello, Bass viol, Violin, Recorder, Vocals)
After the rain, clouds dry, the world is bright. Flames extinguish and ignite. Day follows night. Lycanthrope knows the Fire's height.
After the rain, flood pours to an ocean. The ocean has currents. The currents make 10,000 waves. Lycanthrope rides the currents. In so doing, shapes the waves. And so the Mistress is always the Slave. The moon's Face pulls the tide. History will ebb and rise. After the rain, the streams will dry. After the rain, it will reign again... (31)Spring Returns (7) 2:08
(Cello, Bass viol, Violin, Drums, Vocals)
Spring returns, winter fades. No colors, without shades.
Knowing One requires Two, Two that volley up and down, fro and to. Father-Fear-of-Death-and-Time, yet there is a time when Time brings new life.
This wheel turns, Flame still burns.
Hardship spurned, when spring returns.
Two poles imply a middle ground, hence the Two bore Three. The single-mindedness of three 3's
Drives the 10,000 things.
In all things, poles; in all poles pairs.
The Wolf and Man: the fruit spring bares.
The Werewolf clutches flames to ride on cultures' waves, and shape the Faces in the waves,
Till the wheel turns again... (32)Reel (heaven) (8) 3:29
(Guitar, Cello, Drums, Keyboard, Vocals)
I cast a line, I get a bite. I think I'm reeling, nothing wants to stand still. I turn the handle back, I ride the Cycle further. I cast my Flesh up, and I cast my Soul aside! And if the world is Hot, beside the Icy ocean, the Wolf can climb inside a molten metal womb...
Head in hand, and Heart in head. Rubbing gently up against your groin. A world in black, and a leap of doubt, twisted scraps of heated metal reveal no sound, I am broken glass. Shards and fragments, nothing to hold me together. Tongue in cheek, I think I'm going to pop!
And the sea is cold, but my Heart is colder. I rip the Heavens open, as the cycle bids. I turn the handle back, I set my soul alight. I rip the Heavens up, and lift my Heart apart... "Who are we," (not) "to question?"
"Who are we," (not) "to doubt?" (33)After the Fall (9) 4:14
(Guitar, Recorder, Vocals)
As the Darkness descended for the last time, did I tell you that I love you? Oh, you weren't listening anyway. And, in that respect at least, it doesn't matter what I've said. BUT I often wonder if my Love and memory are real, or are they nothing but a Face, I sometimes like to wear? I ask myself, would I still need you, were you here now?
But you have slipped away into the greatest abstinence the world can ever know.
You're not here, and never more will you be here, my friend. In the End, you transform to Darkness. Your final shift, you fell in the fall. And after the fall came winter. Still summer came without you. And now return to fall again. The world turns without you
A precious ember in Darkness. It burns fast, but then is snuffed out. Sometimes, leaves burns in the landscape. These scars remain, when the ember cools. The rare gift is more precious. The ephemeral snow-flake in winter.
And, though the trees create the forest, the world will turn without us. After we fall, the winter still will come...
The person who is single-minded about her goals, yet flexible about the shapes she must take to achieve them: This person will find that there are 10,000 paths, all leading toward her aims. And she will rule the world.
The wolf and the flame and the cycle of life.
The face and the skin and the burning within.
The herd and the pelt, and the cycles without.
Wax and wane. The Devil has Two horns, rise and fall, ever on, wax and wane, wax and wane, wax and wane.
the Nemo-Dog in 2002/2003 (during this album):
Preston Gelberwolf: Vocals, Cello, Violin/Viola, Bass viol, Classical guitar, Acoustic bass guitar, Alto recorder, Keyboard, Drums, and a hint of Banjo
*To be in-the-know about the Nemo-Dog goings on, or to get
albums/stickers/assorted garbage, write
The Nemo-Dog Fan Club and Secret Werewolf Cult, at:
Groupies@NemoDog.org
